My Problem with Bristol Palin

A little known fact about me - I have been boycotting Dancing With the Stars this season. I just can't be a part of it. I simply refuse.

Many who know me as a staunch Democrat who has major issues with Sarah Palin probably think that it is solely because of Bristol's involvement that I refuse to watch. However this goes a little deeper than my overall general disgust at the Palin family's flagrant media-whoring.

To be honest, I really have nothing against Bristol personally. I don't know the girl, and she's basically a kid who is just trying to navigate the world around her the best that she can. She is grabbing these newfound opportunities and God bless her. I know I would if I was in her shoes.

But the problem is I would never be in her shoes, and neither would you, even if we got caught doing the exact same things.

And therein lies the rub.

In my opinion Dancing With the Stars jumped the shark the minute they tried to legitimize folks like Kate Gosselin, The Situation and Bristol Palin as "stars".

This is the media climate that we live in these days. You get thrust into the spotlight merely if you are a raging douchebag OR if you can procreate. (And if you can do both, you're golden - *cough*Jon Gosselin*cough*)

And if you can procreate a LOT, then you are even more sought after. *cough*Octo-Mom*cough*The Duggers*cough*.

In other words if you have a vagina that even remotely resembles a clown car, reality TV has a spot reserved especially for you.

I kinda blame TLC for this. They used to have entertaining shows where real people were featured. I watched my fair share of "A Wedding Story", "A Baby Story" and "Trading Spaces".

Now TLC is nothing but a freak show - the new Palin "reality" show included. It thrives on sensationalism because sensationalism drives ratings and, in turn, the bottom line.

"The Learning Channel" my ass. What exactly are we learning?

We're learning in this post-Paris Hilton/Perez Hilton age you don't have to have a smidgen of talent to be considered a "star". These days you can be a celebrity just because people know who you are.

In the case of Bristol Palin, she's known for two very distinct things.

1.) She's the daughter of a famous, albeit polarizing, political figure.

2.) She's an advocate for abstinence.

The first thing she has no control over. So we can't blame her for that. How the media responds to her is the media's fault alone.

The second part, however, is very much in her control.

She's an advocate for abstinence AFTER becoming a teen mom.

While I can understand why she might have some second thoughts about her behavior now that she actually had to suffer the consequences, the problem is that - arguably - she was pro-abstinence *before* she became a teen mom.

Her family is very religious, her mother is an outspoken conservative who supported abstinence-only education prior to her daughter's pregnancy. The idea of abstinence was not something Bristol figured out after the little stick turned blue.

She's a walking, talking testament why abstinence-only education does not work, yet she gets paid - quite handsomely - to promote it as though it does. This means she's a paid spokesperson for a failed policy by being a failure of that policy.

And we've rewarded this by making her a "star". The same people who support her mother support her - and for the very same reason. These aren't merit votes. These are based on the image she projects and the things she says, even if those things are in sharp contrast to the things she has done.

Worse, she wouldn't even be there on that show had she NOT contradicted her family's beliefs - and by extension, the beliefs of those who adore her mother and now presumably vote for her.

Had she not had a kid and become some poster child for anti-choice, she'd be sitting at home as generic as the rest of the Palin clan.

What she accomplished required no discernible talent. Thousands and thousands of teen girls manage this miraculous feat every single year. The only difference is they don't get to dance onto your TV screen every week and get upwards of $30,000 per "lecture" to talk about it, nor would they be asked to.

In fact, because they are not born to wealthy, famous parent(s) they end up earning scorn for their behavior. They are considered part of the problem of society. Worse, the people so willing to dole out the money for Bristol's "insight" and "wisdom" are far more likely to hang these other teen moms out to dry so that they don't have to spend a dime more in taxes to support them.

Consider that when Fantasia starred in and won American Idol, she was criticized for being a teen mom even though she was using her talent to try and make a better life for herself and for her family.

So I guess the lesson here is that it's okay to be a teen mom who claims to be "pro-life" as long as you're white, born to a political figure on the "right" side of the fence, and have so much money we don't mind giving you thousands more.

Everyone else? Well, you're just part of the problem.

And Liberals are more than likely to blame.

Plus the government.

As long as the president in office is a Democrat.

So you'll have to forgive me for not participating in this fantastically absurd charade. I'd quite rather spend my Mondays watching Dirty Dancing instead.

Call me nutty but I think if you're in a dancing competition you should make it to the finals because you're one of the best talents. And if you're in a celebrity competition you should have legitimately earned that spot by having something unique to offer the entertainment world.

But thanks ABC for redefining the word "star" to mean "mediocre".

That's the best dictionary contribution since "refudiate".