In case you were wondering, it's not Christianity. Nor is it Islam... Judaism... Buddhism, or any other typically accepted "isms" that revolve around any other mystical deities.
In fact the god of America is quite real. You can see it... you can touch it... more importantly you can taste it.
It's food.
Turn on any TV - the outspoken clergy of this particular religion - and you're going to see ads, ads and more ads about food. Fast food, greasy food, cheesy food and all those sweets that will bring ultimate joy and fulfillment back into your life.
When you have a candy named "Bliss," you know they're not even trying to hide what they're doing.
Consequently, every day millions and millions of Americans dig deep into their pockets to shell out their tithes - to Coca Cola, to Wendy's, to Pizza Hut, to Burger King and to the ultimate mecca to which billions reverently flock to... McDonalds.
We have TV shows that feature outrageous excess as "entertainment", and fairs the country over will deep fry anything from candy bars to Coke.
We even found a way to deep fry our Thanksgiving turkeys.
As a result the last 10 years have seen a tremendous spike in our obesity rates. In 2001 only Mississippi showed a prevalence of its citizens having a BMI - or Body Mass Index - of over 25%, which is considered overweight. In 2009 that number had dramatically risen to 25 states, including such northern states as Maine and Washington. Even more startling, nine additional states reported a prevalence of over 30%, which is considered to be obese.
Needless to say, it's an epidemic. But God help you if you dare try to tell our emotionally-stunted nation they have to change these destructive habits.
Actor/comedian/musician/activist Hal Sparks supports a movement called "Meatless Mondays." What this does is suggest - merely suggest - that for one day a week you cut out the meat. The theory behind the movement is that forfeiting meat just for one day can improve your health as well as the environment.
It's not telling anyone they have to give up their beloved meat for the rest of their life. It's just one simple day, and it's nothing anyone is forcing anyone to do.
It's just. A suggestion.
But you wouldn't know it from the way Hal's Twitter and Facebook feed is attacked by a bunch of snarky trolls making fun of this movement.
For the record, telling him that you're going to eat a steak to celebrate Meatless Monday doesn't make you funny - it just makes you a jerk. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Believe it or not you still have the freedom to decide that for yourself... just as anyone else who opts NOT to eat meat has the choice to make that decision as well.
The often strident reaction speaking out against something so easy and so voluntary never fails to surprise me. I never got it until I finally realized the god-like connection between Americans and food. Apparently you just don't get between Americans and their true religion.
The diet industry succeeds in this because it tells us that we can eat what we want and still lose weight if we just take a pill, drink a shake, buy a gadget or device. And if they don't tell you those fairy tales, they often mislead you to believe that you too can lose 100 pounds in just ten weeks to be just like those folks on The Biggest Loser.
All you have to do is pay money into the trainer's pocket and she'll make it happen for you too.
Only she can't, because it's unrealistic, and it doesn't do anything more than feed into why you had to worship something like food in the first place.
We Americans are trained from our Happy Meals and sippy cups full of Kool-Aid that food makes us happy... especially the fattening, sweet stuff. We build entire holidays around how we eat from the time we are born. Name one major holiday that doesn't revolve around food, drink or excess in this nation.
Spoil yourself. Indulge. You deserve it.
This is why diets typically fail and we just keep getting fatter and fatter. It's the ultimate Devil vs. Angel on our shoulders. We have the TV telling us two very different things: you can't live without Mountain Dew and your Big Mac, but you're too fat to ever truly be happy.
Don't even THINK about having a TV show where you can be in love and happy.
Naturally we are going to worship the part of this sadistic equation that makes us feel good... or at the very least numbs us from feeling bad. And we'll fight to the death anyone who dares to take that away.
You want to see folks get up in arms about being controlled by a "nanny" state, just try even hinting that they can't have their deep fried, sugar coated yummy lil bits of heaven we Americans truly worship.
In November, Sarah Palin decided to launch a protest against this so-called nanny state by bringing 200 sugar cookies TO A SCHOOL because she didn't appreciate their new rule limiting the amount of sweets allowed, which would then in turn somehow reduce birthday and holiday celebrations.
Evidently in America you can't have any sort of celebration without "goodies" loaded with sugar.
This is where her voice must be heard for justice and liberty. She's learned well from the Clergy of Consumerism that you give people what they want while telling them what they want to hear and you will have a following of staunch devotees willing to worship at your altar even if you spout complete and utter nonsense.
Consider those right wing commentators with a burr in their britches that our children are being encouraged to eat healthier by that scary black lady in the White House. Apparently just hearing the name Obama will send some of these folks into a seizure where their common sense is paralyzed from the brain down. So naturally folks like Glenn Beck have employed the ever-so-effective hyperbole, scaring their faithful followings with the thought one day they'd be imprisoned for indulging in their sacred worship of all things deep fried.
Talk about ironic.
This group getting their knickers in a twist about a so-called nanny state are often the same bunch of yahoos who vote against the real rights of others based on behavior that 1. doesn't affect them and 2. has no real ill-effect, except for in their little closed-up minds swimming around in animal fat and sugar.
Don't take away my french fries! But ban gay marriage because it hurts kids.
Just imagine the kind of stroke someone like Palin would have if someone came to a public school and handed out 200 CONDOMS to help combat teen pregnancy and disease. Yet somehow giving cookies to schoolkids in a state with a 27.4 obesity rate is just good ol' American freedom.
MEANWHILE... no one wants to pay extra insurance for the health problems that are the consequences of such behavior. Not to mention they vilify any efforts to make health care more accessible to all because THAT is somehow taking our choices away.
Yeah. It's taking away your choice to die quickly.
It's taking away your choice to be made numb and dumb by your diet, keeping you easier to control by those who would want to control you.
Consider a FOX NEWS report from 2009 that said a high-fat diet may actually make you stupid and lazy.
And yet these folks at Fox News are the same ones telling you that you shouldn't be listening to anyone that tells you to eat healthier (i.e. forsake that high-fat diet.)
Interesting, no?
So since today is Monday, I encourage you to reconsider your diet and think about going meatless just for the day. It may sound boring like you won't have enough to eat but trust me when I tell you that it opens up an entirely new way to think about the food that you eat. You can try new foods you've never tried before, or cook old favorites in a new way.
Here are some recipes to consider, recipes I've found and made to combat years of my own food-worship and subsequent obesity:
Cajun Chili Cups
Chili Verde
Sweet Potato Fritters with Smokey Pinto Beans
Kickin' Fiesta Quinoa
Creamy Vegan Corn Chowder
Skillet Gnocchi with Chard and White Beans
As you can see it's entirely possible for forsake the meat for 24 hours and still eat well. Plus it can often be cheaper and healthier than all that high-fat stuff. You'll feel better and may even be a little smarter.
If not, you can always go back to the Church of Fast Food tomorrow.
I'm sure Sarah Palin will be more than happy to send you some cookies.
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